Levitas

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:51 pm

58Igq9OEkz4

Why was I watching football/soccer? I should have been watching handball.

Heracleum Persicum · Post by **Heracleum Persicum** » Wed Jul 09, 2014 9:39 pm

.

On her radio show recently, Dr. Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstances!

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. man, and posted on the Internet.. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify ? Why can't I own Canadians ?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her ?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell ? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them ?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it ?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this ? Are there 'degrees' of abomination ?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here ?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die ?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves ?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

P..S. It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.

.

Heracleum Persicum · Post by **Heracleum Persicum** » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:40 am

.

SHOE

: ATT00316.jpg (94.12 KiB) Viewed 851 times

Parodite · Post by **Parodite** » Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:55 pm

lrkJM3rN0J8

Heracleum Persicum · Post by **Heracleum Persicum** » Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:54 pm

: image.jpeg (173.15 KiB) Viewed 840 times

Parodite · Post by **Parodite** » Thu Jul 10, 2014 10:11 pm

xHEQmfqnKZw

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:31 pm

VYnv7ZOF98Q

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:28 am

Who is this man?
Kenny Loggins.

How does his death help us?
No more bad songs.

Why is it important we remember him?
Highway to the Danger Zone was OK.

kmich · Post by **kmich** » Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:38 am

3lCcm0--hzg

Miss_Faucie_Fishtits · Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:18 am

These are the shorts. And this is the wub. Now, anything you do with the wub is called wubbing. Got that?.....'>>......

aCjBkYPtyAA

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Thu Jul 17, 2014 6:22 pm

The IKEA store in Arroyo de la Encomienda, Spain, is on "I've Got a Screw Loose" street.

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:32 pm

qHFr1_md3Ok

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Fri Jul 18, 2014 4:15 pm

Nonc Hilaire wrote:The IKEA store in Arroyo de la Encomienda, Spain, is on "I've Got a Screw Loose" street.

If by accident, then it's funny.

If by design, then more so.

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Fri Jul 18, 2014 7:02 pm

w-0TEJMJOhk

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Fri Jul 18, 2014 9:02 pm

kmich · Post by **kmich** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 12:04 am

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Sun Jul 20, 2014 5:41 pm

kmich · Post by **kmich** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:38 pm

Heracleum Persicum · Post by **Heracleum Persicum** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 7:50 am

.

Very good news from Lahore Times

.

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 11:49 pm

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Wed Jul 23, 2014 2:56 pm

Just imagine seven bachelor dwarves on this sofa . . .

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 1:40 pm

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 2:39 pm

Nonc Hilaire wrote:Just imagine seven bachelor dwarves on this sofa . . .

How long did it take to extract them . . .?

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 2:40 pm

Kimchi, it's not just for eating . . .

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 3:09 pm

Typhoon wrote:
Nonc Hilaire wrote:Just imagine seven bachelor dwarves on this sofa . . .

How long did it take to extract them . . .?

Not long. They would have all had their pants down and been kneeling; leaning over the back of the sofa.

I imagine a strategically placed popsicle would have done the trick.

On the Nature of Things | Forum

Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Asian flu, I suppose . . .

Re: Levitas

Bring back the waltz!

Re: Levitas

Re: Levitas

Why not?

No wonder Snow White had the animals do the cleaning!

Math nerd limerick

Re: No wonder Snow White had the animals do the cleaning!

Re: Levitas

Re: No wonder Snow White had the animals do the cleaning!